


Caffeine alternative

by iloveitblue



Series: Prompts [323]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Established, Loki is an ass, M/M, short cracky fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-30
Updated: 2015-10-30
Packaged: 2018-04-28 22:57:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5108696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iloveitblue/pseuds/iloveitblue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The one where Loki curses everybody to be allergic to coffee.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Caffeine alternative

**Author's Note:**

> Phil opened cabinet after cabinet to try and find any scrap of coffee bean he could. One, just one. He needed just one. He can’t take one more day without his coffee. College was difficult enough when he didn’t like the taste of coffee. Now that he’s grown accustomed to the taste, he can’t possibly be expected to live without the liquid gold. He won’t survive another day. 

Okay, so he might have developed a slight addiction to coffee but it wasn’t that bad. Probably.

“What are you searching for, Agent Coulson?” JARVIS asked, ever the all-seeing.

“It’s nothing, JARVIS. I can find it on my own. Don’t worry about me.” Coulson answered with a snippy tone. 

“Perhaps, you are searching for coffee?” JARVIS asked once more.

“No.” 

“Miss Potts has instructed me to remind every resident of the tower that until Loki’s curse has been lifted, coffee is not allowed-”

“-in the tower or near any of us. Yes. Yes.” Phil finished for the AI. “I just wanted to smell it. I wasn’t going to brew it.” Phil lied through his teeth.

“Well then, I’m afraid that all coffee beans have been removed from the premises. Miss Potts was afraid that Sir would somehow charm his way into getting coffee out of the other employees.” 

Phil groaned. He just wanted some coffee, damnit. He’s going to kill Loki.

—

Phil groaned, his head on top of a pile of papers that probably needed to be filed yesterday. His energy levels were running dangerously low and he was in dire need of a caffeine boost. 

“You’re miserable.” Clint observed from his couch.

“Of course I’m miserable. We’re all miserable.” Phil pointed out.

“Bruce isn’t.”

“Dr. Banner doesn’t drink coffee. It makes his heart palpitate.”

“Natasha isn’t.”

“It’s Natasha. She probably has a secret stash of something that keeps her energized.”

“Steve isn’t.”

“His body doesn’t need the caffeine. We do.”

“Thor isn’t.”

“He probably doesn’t even like coffee.”

“Actually, he does.” Phil rolled his face to the side to give Clint a raised eyebrow. “He tried it back in New Mexico, can’t get enough of the stuff. Probably the reason why Loki chose to curse us with an aversion to caffeine.”

Phil rolled his head back and groaned once more. “How is this my life? Why am I being punished??”

“Probably because Loki hates you. He hates all of us.”

“He should learn to hate in silence. Like every adult out there.”

“And there lies your problem. You’re assuming that Loki is an adult when in fact he just looks like an adult. He has the brain and the tantrum levels of a child.” 

Phil snorted, “Remind me again how long this curse lasts?”

“Thor says a week.” 

“And how many days has it been?”

“Including this one?”

“Yes.”

“Three.”

Phil groaned.

“I’ve got something to perk you right up.” Clint stood up, and headed for the door. “C’mon, let’s spar.”

“How is sparring supposed to keep me energized when all I want to do after is sleep?” 

“The adrenaline will keep you up. We just have to figure out a way to keep your adrenaline up and the best way to do that: Sparring.” 

Phil debated it for a while in his head. On the one hand, he doesn’t feel like getting up, and he’s feeling very lethargic. On the other hand, Hand to hand with Clint meant he’s officially allowed to be at a close proximity to a sweaty, panting Clint outside of the bedroom and without their lives being in danger.

“Okay.” Phil practically shot out of his seat.

**Author's Note:**

> [Here on tumblr](http://promptmephlint.tumblr.com/post/132217782091/im-downloading-the-ios-update-and-omg-my)


End file.
